Move

So I moved offices yesterday. When I picked up Owen, I told him about it.

This kid absorbs info, and applies to his advantage. He starts to think about things and comes up with a plan. Folks, he did not get this from me. The following exchange did not occur because of any of my genes.

We wake up the next day, start getting ready, and he walks up to me while I'm brushing my hair.

Owen: Mommy? I want to move rooms.

Me: Where do you want to go?

Owen: Downstairs. I want my room down stairs.

Me: Why? The guest room is so much smaller than your room.

Owen: No, I want your room. You can go upstairs to my room. But you have a lot of clothes, so you can keep some down here.

Then he walks away as if to say, "well, that's that." All he needs to do is ask, and he shall receive.

AND - he seriously thought he was being generous when he said I could keep some of my clothes in my own closet.

Flawless reasoning

Actual dialogue between Owen and me just now.

Owen (looking out at the moon through the bedroom windows, which still have no curtains, so if the mowers come early on Thursdays, yes, they get a show): Mommy, do you want to go to the moon?

Me: Heck no

Owen: I want to.

Controlling me: No, you don't.

Owen: Yes I do. I want to see aliens. Do you want to see aliens?

Me: No, but if I did, I wouldn't find them on the moon.

Owen: You don't want to see aliens?

Me: Nope.

Owen: What's your favorite color?

Me: Blue.

Owen: Then what?

Me: Red.

Owen: Then what?

Me: Purple.

Owen: Then What?

Me: Maybe sage green, but then, I'm out, Owen.

Owen: Okay. Well, what if the aliens were those colors? Wouldn't you want to meet them then?

Flawless. I had nothing up against that sort of logic. He had me. I want to see the aliens now.

Owen is 5

Work or Blog today? Work or Blog today? Hmmm... I think you can see who won.

----------

We'll kick this segment off with the Rodeo.

----------

Robin invited Owen and I to go to the Rodeo in Mesquite Saturday. If you know how I feel about anything country related, you know I was looking for any excuse to get out of this. I think I stood there just with my mouth open trying to think of ANYTHING, but I had nothing, and she just looked at me confused until I said, "thank you I'd love to go."

Surprisingly, it was a total blast. Check these monkey's out.

Totally forgot to add how flossy we were. We had our own private suite. Those kids were so pumped. For like an hour. Then they were driving us nuts.

So, now they are all done with horses and cowboys, and get all goofy on us. I love these.

They honestly looked like they were making fun of those turban guys (you know, guys that wear turbans?). And they were really selling the look. After a while, the big kids were like, "look, 20 minutes ago, I thought you three were ..um, special. But now - can we borrow the hats?"

------------

Whoa - I'm totally going out of order here. Back up to Thursday, Owen and Ryan had a joint (as in shared, not rolled up marijuana) birthday party at Pump it Up. or Pump Me as Kim calls it.

Lots of jumping and running around.

That is honestly the clearest picture I got of Owen in the bounce house, as he would not stop moving.

Cake. Robin calls her own kid a Muppet mouth in this picture. Dang good analogy.

.

Also - Alissa's kid has a mullet. Poor Travis.

Hold on!!! I had to work for a second - walked down to my box and found this guy waiting for me in my box! I was all, no way, Robin wouldn't do that to me. Yes she did.

Yes. That is a thank you card. Where do you think Owen's thank you cards are? I'd say, um.... still at Hallmark. Haven't even bought thank you cards for the party. Dang over-achiever of a sister.

Seacrest out!

Kim has threatened me

Okay - Kim threatened to take me off her blog if I don't update mine. But I don't have anything crazy. Let's see. Dad's in Thailand. That's a given 75% of the time. I'm kind of boring today..

What else... Alissa (from below Loft story) has had her baby. Check Travis and Alissa out.


Cute - right?



Okay - Speaking of which. I saw Alissa a couple weeks ago for Short Melissa's 30th birthday party. Where as I haven't uploaded those pictures off my camera yet, I totally can show you something even more interesting that I took on my phone. Our waiter's hand.



Yes, that's a condom on his finger. Apparently he got a cut, and didn't want blood or the bandaid over it to fall into our food. So - what does any normal person do, put a condom on thier finger.


Look I've been in this situation, like - never, so who am I to judge. He was just thinking of the customer.

Oh crap

I came home late last night and found this awesome note.





It's from my house cleaner. The note reads, "You need a good plunger for your bathroom."


It's not a random idea. Like, you should get a garden hose. But she writes it like a suggestion. Like, here's an idea. She left out the part where my personal master potty is totally clogged with her poop. (Yes, mine. So this leaves me to think, she regularly poops in my potty. Not the guest one. Mine. Yes this bothers me.)


So last night, I try to pee, notice all the waters gone from the toilet, but so I'm so tired, I just flush not thinking. Floods everywhere.





Come on! What person clogs up a potty, and doesn't run out that minute to buy a plunger and fix the problem. She had time! That wasn't the issue!


Maybe she was proud?

Happy Independence Day!

Today is my 3 year divorce anniversary! Happy independence day to me! Here's a pic of Owen 3 and a half years ago. (I remember this trip because Owen and I went to Vegas about 3 days after I filed divorce, and this is him crawling around on the floor. Kind of a switch in roles here. As I type this I cannot believe I'm the one who went to Vegas. Crazy. I think Owen wanted to gamble a bit, and you know I deprive him of nothing.)

This morning started out pretty bad. The there is now a 6 inch crack in my windshield. Started out as a small dot, but the freezing weather made it lengthen, I suppose.

Second, I get a text from the ex asking me to take him to the airport. Not really that bad, but it stressed me out.

Because of this - He lectures me that Owen needs good shoes for his arches, not the cheap Target shoes I buy. Oh my gosh. This is upsetting for so many reasons. I DO buy him good shoes, they all get stolen and end up at his house! I send him in good shoes, he comes home in Target shoes. So I started buying Target shoes, deciding that I was wasting money. AND I GET A LECTURE. I'm soooo upset about this. But that's all I'll say.

Actually it's not. He takes the good shoes, and sends him home in Target shoes about 2 sizes too big, so that he can "grow into them". That's a nice way of saying, "I'm going going to buy him shoes every 3 years, so hopefully they'll actually fit him for about 6 of those months, and he's pretty much screwed the other 2.5 years."

I feel better now. Okay - what else?

Then Kidd Kraddick's show really really sucked this morning. First - thousands of screaming girls for the Jonas Brothers, then - a big old lecture from the soooo mature J-si to his younger sister. So pointless. When will the sooo successful J-si actually do an entertaining bit? Usually I'm just uncomfortable with them or bored. Today I vote bored.

Here's a pic of Me, Jessica and J-Si a year ago. He actually is kind of cute. But he's served his purpose and can go home now.

The highlight of my morning came when I got to see Owen for a couple minutes and give him a piggy bank Kim had picked up for him at the Irish Festival this weekend. He kept saying, "I wub it! I wub it!" Thank you Kim! You did good.

Did I mention that this is my 3 year divorce anniversary today? Happy independence day to me!

Go Hillary! Yes we will! Yes we will! And here's how we are going to do it together.....

Go Big Dogs!

Owen just started playing soccer last week. He's on the team The Big Dogs. Go big dogs!

Actually, we have a bit of trouble getting him to play. We have to promise to take him to Target after the game. I wonder what the other parents are thinking when Brian and I yell, "No Target! Unless you get on the field!" We yell in that "Yes we will!" Hillary Clinton voice. By the way, I am voting for her tomorrow. Go Hillary! "Yes we will!! And here is how we are going to do it together!" (Okay she was kind of ridiculous when she yelled that, but is that enough to not support her?)

Back to Owen - when he gets on the field, he's not really interested in the game. When the ball gets kicked somewhere he starts running for it, but then checks out his feet and runs with his head staring at his feet in amazement, like, "Damn, my feet are pretty fast!" Then he looks up and makes sure Brian and I are watching how fast he is going.

And for no reason that I can come up with, he'll stop and stick his head between his legs and look at us upside down (second picture).

Unfortunately, it has been decided that Owen has his mother's soccer skills. But he's the most entertaining player on the field, hands down.

Kim, Holton, Robin, Jimmy, Austin, Christian, and baby Ryan came to watch Owen last Sunday. Thank you guys so much! Kim looks fantastic sporting her green hoodie! Holton is having a blast watching all these crazy kids. Check out Christian eating his "Go Lean" bar. Someone actually brought that for the soccer snack on his team. Are you kidding me? Kick them off! And no drinks? Robin had to resort to stealing someone else's drinks. Funny story. Hope she puts that on her link.

Another thing, for no reason at all, he started picking on number 1 last week on the other team. (no picture available) Starts getting aggressive and pushing him. Even though 1 didn't even have the ball. Maybe he brought a bad snack for the team, and Owen is doing his part in making sure karma is done.

Who knew soccer season would be so entertaining???